A Place of Belonging: Emily's Homeownership Story

It’s not a coincidence that the two queer profiles we’re sharing this LGBTQ+ Pride Month mention “belonging.” It’s a fraught time to be part of the LGBTQ+ community; the need to feel safe and like we belong has never been more important. Emily Kirkevold, Twin Cities Habitat’s Government Affairs Manager, recently became a homeowner through Habitat’s TruePath Mortgage program. She talked with us about what home, family, and belonging mean to her as a queer homeowner.

Family Origins

Emily grew up in Northeast Minneapolis as part of a big, extended Irish Catholic family, with her mom and dad and a brother who’s just a year older. “We were really close growing up, except it was frustrating to always be competing to be ‘the first’ to do something.” She remembers her childhood home as a place of laughter.

“We had huge family events; we’d get together for no reason other than to be together.” Emily remembers lake cabin vacations with “twenty-some” cousins plus aunts and uncles. “Home for me was always based around my family and being surrounded by loving supportive people,” she says.

As a result of the 2008 financial crisis, Emily’s dad had to start traveling for work. When her mom traveled to visit her dad, Emily and her brother would often stay with extended family. They were also lucky to be part of a small, tight-knit school community, and many friends’ parents helped support the family as well.

Emily remembers, “My parents bought my childhood home for something like $80,000 in 1997. It was the perfect size for us with a great back yard and friends in the neighborhood. It was idyllic. When I was searching for a house, I was dreaming about finding a place like that – lots of character, close-knit community, a place where I could have that long-term support that we built partly from just being there as long as we were.”

Emily was so excited to pick out paint colors for her new home!

A Tradition of Homeownership

In Emily’s extended family everyone who’s an adult has owned a home for at least a part of their life. “The American dream is very much alive in my family,” she says with a laugh. “I am the poster child for generational wealth building. The reason I’ve been able to do as well as I have is literally because of the past generations of my white ancestors who were able to do well in systems that were set up to work for them. I’m not going to try to explain it away; I’m extremely lucky because of my race.”

Preparing for Homeownership

Even with the privileges of being a white person with strong family support and a stable job, Emily faced the same barriers that many people do when she first considered homeownership. High interest rates and the hot Minneapolis housing market were real challenges.

“It would have been extremely hard for me to find a place in my budget. I was on the fence about even doing it. I wasn’t sure I was the right kind of person who should be going through the Habitat program.”

With encouragement from both Habitat colleagues and current Habitat homeowners like LeAndra, Emily enrolled in Habitat’s new flexible, self-paced Homebuyer Education Program, which she highly recommends.

“Even if you know people who are literate in homebuying, you don’t know everything until you go through it yourself. So I felt prepared and like I was given a cheat sheet. I was really grateful for the ability to do it online, because I didn’t have to take time off or wait for a class to start. It was easy to reach out with questions, and I got immediate replies when I contacted them—special shout-out to Liz in Client Services!”

Going through the program, Emily had to work with her loan servicer to figure out how her student loans would affect her. She appreciated the support of multiple people on the lending team. “It felt like being surrounded by a family too. They were so there for me and really wanted to see me succeed; that’s true for all of our clients. They’re there to make it work.”

Finding Home and Building Queer Community

Once Emily completed the Homebuyer Education program, she was ready to start searching the open market for a home. She wanted to find a place in Northeast Minneapolis near her childhood home. “That was always in the back of my mind when I was searching. My brother actually owns our parents’ house now so he’s still really close. I grew up ten minutes from here.”

As a queer homebuyer, Emily took extra notice driving through neighborhoods of rainbow flags and other indicators of welcoming neighborhoods. She worked with a queer realtor and benefitted from their guidance as well as the support of having a queer elder go through the process with her.

Emily feels very lucky that she’s never been at odds with her family or friend groups because of her identity, but she has seen how friends have been affected and what they’ve had to deal with in less welcoming families.

“I remember very clearly when my friends were going through those times, my [parents’] house and other friends’ houses were safe spaces for people to go when they needed to get away from unsafe or unsupportive family. Being able to get away to someplace where you’re loved and welcome any time was so important."

 Because of those experiences, Emily places a high value on her home providing the same kind of support, being a place of happiness and love. She says it’s been “so nice to gather here with friends and create joy.”

Making Her Own Memories

As Emily was looking at houses, she’d find herself thinking, could I put down roots here? about places she’d never set foot in before. “When I was trying to visualize what you’d do to a place or how you’d grow into it, I always just remembered my childhood home.” She says the process of searching for a home was a lot about reminding herself that she didn’t have to find an exact replica of her parents’ house—the connection was about the memories she built there.

Emily is already starting to build those long-term memories and put down roots. Right after she closed on her new home, her parents came into town for a week to help. Her dad and uncle advised her about her home’s plumbing and HVAC and helped her paint. “Every time they come over, the house is different because I keep doing things. I’m going to be the poster child for the 90% done house."

Emily's living room has designated spots for her dog Kona and Kona's basket of toys.

“Right now, it’s just me and my dog [living here],” she says, “but it builds every time I have people over or host a dinner party or a bonfire. It grows with the love that people are pouring into it. I’m so excited to keep building memories. I feel so unbelievably lucky.”